News and Commentary from one of Torrance’s leading therapists.
Emotions are not just “momentary.” They have an effect on the actions that follow. Just as when we have a “thought,” and respond to it (both consciously and unconsciously), we similarly respond to “emotions.”
Some of the filtering that effects emotions are past experiences, sights, smells and sounds.
Sometimes our reactions to our partners have little or nothing to do with them, yet we “act out” and say something hurtful to them that we regret later. We momentarily forget that we love this person because we are so overwhelmed with experiences we perceive as negative or threatening.
The hurtful thing we say to our partner can get them to react with high emotional sensitivity, which starts a cycle of conflict. If we try instead to respond by validating the other’s experience or using soothing words, this can stop that cycle.
Can you think of a series of events, either positive or negative, that a thought or emotion led to in your life?
Go to drchrisregan.com to find out more about assessments and to sign up for a free 20-minute consultation!
(Taken from The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation by Alan E. Fruzzetti and Marsha M. Linehan).
To learn more, watch the video.
