High Conflict Couples

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Chapter 6: High Conflict Couples

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1. Describe what two steps it takes for accurate communication:

2. Explain how you can bring meaning to an exchange with your partner before saying anything:

3. Can body language be “misinterpreted?” Explain. Give a personal example if you can.

4. What are some ways to have effective and accurate communication?

5. What should you do if you get into a “heightened emotional state.”

6. How can “taking a bathroom break” help a “heightened emotional state?”

7. Explain how Richard’s secondary emotions clouded his primary emotions in his relationship with Ruth.

8. Think of a situation that happened recently that made you angry (eg. Someone cut you off and took your parking spot.). Describe the situation in a “judgmental” way (eg. “This person was a jerk! They stole my parking spot!”). Now, describe what happened in a “non-judgemental” way. (eg. I was about to pull into a parking spot and someone pulled in front of me).” Notice how attaching emotion to the incident and “taking it personally” made you feel as opposed to just noticing it and speaking about it factually (not taking it personally).

9. What are a couple different ways we communicate “indirectly?”

9. Hidden Answer
1. We tell the wrong person what we are wanting or feeling
2. We describe a related incident instead of what we really care about and assume that the other person knows what we mean to communicate (passive-aggressive communication).

10. What is a want or need you have been reluctant to express to your partner out of fear? State it “accurately” below, as if you were talking to your partner.

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